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3 months ago

Thompson Child Therapy
This is a phrase we say often at Thompson Child Therapy. Parents come to us for a variety of reasons, but generally, it’s to figure out the reason behind their child’s big emotions.The thing is, the problem is not the problem. 🤯 To break it down:The thing your child is upset about is not nearly as important as their feelings being heard. 👏This may seem obvious, but if your child is having an explosive reaction, your first instinct as a parent is going to be: remove the thing causing the reaction. 💚But when it comes to general stress, your kid doesn’t need to go into every detail about their current challenge so you can offer suggestions to help.Most of the time, they aren’t looking for that kind of information from you. And the problem isn’t the thing causing the inappropriate reaction.Plus, they can think creatively and solve their own problems. 🧠So, how do you effectively handle this situation?Read our most recent blog post to find out.thompsonchildtherapy.com/the-problem-is-not-the-problem/ ... See MoreSee Less
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4 months ago

Thompson Child Therapy
Sometimes being a parent means you’re an easy target for your child/teen when they feel frustrated or lash out in anger. It doesn’t even matter what is being said – being criticized, called names, or being told that you’re “not funny,” would start to wear on anyway. It’s even tougher when your kid is using cuss words… because you know that trying to correct them is NOT the way to diffuse that situation. So what can we do when it FEELS like our kids are throwing sticks and stones? Focus on the emotion behind the words. Here’s how to take that approach.First, check in with yourself.Are you doing anything to reward yourself for all of the things you’ve been managing…? Because if you are not taking the time to manage your own emotions, it’s almost impossible to try and help someone manage theirs. You need downtime to be able to handle that verbal tomato thrown at your head by your angry kid. And no, going to that workout class that you actually hate does not count. Find a real hobby or self care activity and commit to it weekly or daily. Once a month doesn’t cut it.You spend your life prioritizing sports practices, scout meetings, sleepovers, playdates, school, and everyone else's interests. You need to commit to time to find your OWN.Find the time by asking for help. See if there’s a parent who can carpool. Get takeout twice a week. Ask the neighborhood kid to walk the dog. Your child will benefit from a parent that is more calm, less stressed, and can keep their cool when the lashing out/overwhelm takes hold. You don’t need to show up to ALL the things.You deserve to be able to keep your well-being in check here.If you are parenting in survival mode, you cannot be the best parent you want to be. The next thing you can do is realize that you are responsible for your own emotional management, and so is your kid. The difference is they don’t have the skills to effectively manage their big feelings yet. That comes from you, teaching them exactly how to do that.And how can you teach them? It’s not as easy as “feeling your feelings.” You need to understand what these feelings mean to you, why they come up when certain words are said, and experience them for what they are. When you do this, you can effectively teach your child why words can hurt later on. You need a strategy to know exactly what to say, when to say it, and why that is the best way to handle the situation. When you treat yourself with compassion regularly, a ripple effect takes place. You are able to let your kid’s hurtful words mean less, and you can stop lecturing, time-outs, writing lines, and other shame-oriented responses. You won’t be parenting out of anger, frustration, or exasperation when our own children aren’t able to manage their emotions.You deserve to take that break, and it is your responsibility to do so. So take it!To learn more about how to be the best parents you can be, click the link below to learn more about our Parent Workshops!thompsonchildtherapy.com/parenthscgroup/ ... See MoreSee Less
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5 months ago

Thompson Child Therapy
The Sensory Processing Sensitivity temperament type (also known as being Highly Sensitive) isn’t just worrying a lot. There’s more to it. It’s not just getting their feelings hurt easily, or getting overwhelmed at birthday parties. It’s also not the same as Autism Spectrum Disorder, and not ADHD. It’s a personality trait that is telling of how your child receives and processes information emotionally, mentally, and physically. #1 Anxiety and Sensory overwhelm are a major part of the trait. Remember when I said that SPS is telling of how your child receives and processes information? Well, this includes ALL stimuli. Emotional, physical, environmental, etc. For example, If you go somewhere and it’s too hot, too loud, too crowded, and their clothes feel too constrictive, itchy, or uncomfortable, and their lunch has too many flavors… you may want to pay attention to how your child is processing stimuli. Do they melt down? Shutdown? Get overwhelmed?They are also very inquisitive and ask deep and clever questions. Sometimes, it even seems like your kid is ten years older than they actually are. This gets confusing because even if your five year old sounds like a 10 year old, emotionally, they are still five. #2 Hyper Awareness of the tone of the environment. Highly Sensitive kids take in every detail of the room the moment they walk in. They notice who the loud talker is, the quiet kid sitting in the corner, how sporadic an activity is, and in that time, an emotional response is forming within their bodies. If they attend boy scouts and the troop leader speaks to the troop in a harsh tone, your HSC may struggle or not even be able to push through the activities. In contrast, an anxious child could ignore the grumpy troop leader and pick up on your joy, carrying on with that encouragement and support.In addition, HSCs notice when others are worried and upset, and they work to decrease the person’s happiness. It’s ingrained in your kid to have a kind and compassionate soul.#3 Shame plants its roots in your HSC after a meltdown, which can lead to another meltdown. Highly Sensitive children are more prone to shame, and shame is different than regret. Shame says “I hit my brother because I’m a bad kid,” but regret says “I hit my brother and now I’m in trouble,” When HSCs do wrong, they think they are bad people, a bad child, and try to hide these feelings to please adults. You’ll notice the difference when you go over the wrong behavior with your kid, and how this conversation could lead to another meltdown.The bottom line is, there’s nothing wrong with children with huge worries and sensitivities. Again, your HSC processes information differently. None of the things mentioned above means that your child is broken.HSCs and their parents need support to fully understand how to honor their child’s Highly Sensitive trait and navigate the world. If you want to learn more about how to help your child get through their emotional overwhelm and feel confident in sitting through the storm, check out our Parents of Highly Sensitive Children 8-Week Workshop!thompsonchildtherapy.com/parenthscgroup/ ... See MoreSee Less
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5 months ago

Thompson Child Therapy
Parenting a teen can be SO confusing. One minute you’re having an intelligent conversation with them about school then the next they’re exploding because you didn’t buy the right kind of peanut butter. What gives? Just because your teen seems like they can talk like an adult, that doesn’t mean they are emotionally mature enough to be one. Your teen is still developing. Stop making assumptions about your teen’s maturity timeline.Your kid doesn’t need to be independent at 15 like they need to be at 18. Those three years make a huge difference in development, life experience, maturity, and education. There is nothing wrong with your kid needing more scaffolding than others either, that isn’t a bad thing. Give them what they need. Keep your judgments out of the equation, and praise your child for asking for help.It’s also okay if you don’t know what they need either. That is the first step in figuring it out. If it brought you here, welcome. At Thompson Child Therapy, we offer a skills workshop called Parent Your Sensitive Teen. Here’s what you learn:* Teach your teen to ask for help* Coach your teen to manage their emotions safely* Apply health social expectations and balance them with academic and household responsibilities* Guide your teen to follow limits around safety without exploding or imploding (this requires you to deliver those limits safely without yelling, threatening, begging, or bribing)Plus, more skills to help set boundaries and expectations.Meet your teen where they are to help them fill in the skills they are missing. To learn more, click this link: thompsonchildtherapy.com/parent-dbt-skills-group/ ... See MoreSee Less
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6 months ago

Thompson Child Therapy
3 Myths About Communicating With Your Teenthompsonchildtherapy.com/teen-skills-group/When your child grows into a teen, it can feel like you’re suddenly talking to a new person…Your little bundle of joy may now seem like a ticking time bomb.And this might’ve started in their preteen years, and only continued to get more complicated.These years in parenting are not easy, and there isn’t much helpful information out there to help you communicate with your teen.As you know, there is no real step by step guide on parenting…But you can start with weeding out some of the myths and “quick fixes.” That is what we’re going to cover today.We know that your teen needs you, and you want to be there for them.Tune in to hear me and Autumn bust the 3 common myths about what it really means when your teen is yelling at you.thompsonchildtherapy.com/teen-skills-group/ ... See MoreSee Less
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